Letting Go
by mjwho
Summary: "What an absurd thing, to marry someone she had fallen in love with through stories... The Doctor...had been a part of dreams both waking and sleeping." A short piece exploring The Doctor and River's relationship at the end of "The Wedding of River Song." It is not meant to be too explicit. Rating goes up to M just to be safe in Chapter 4. I obviously do not own Doctor Who.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

He put down the TARDIS gently, for once. One last check to make sure his dark hair was in place. His hand absently touched his bowtie, for good measure. Or was it luck? His tweed jacket was now spotless, despite the events of the last two days. Two days, and all he had been able to think about was her skin and her hair that glowed like a rising sun. He walked out the door of the TARDIS and straight into a prison cell. Moonlight was streaming in from the window.

"Hello, sweetie." She looked like the sky did the day the Ponds witnessed his marriage to her. Stormy and golden and beautiful.

"River." The Doctor smiled. He took a couple of steps toward her and stopped, looking at her closely, as if to sear this image of her into his memory forever. She was dressed simply, sans her normal combat boots or hidden weapons. Her plain prison clothes only served to set off the golden ringlets that perfectly framed her face, a face he found more seductive each time he saw her.

"Where do we go from here?"

"Oh, sweetie, do you really want me to believe that a 1000-year-old Time Lord doesn't know what happens between a man and woman the minute they are alone together after their wedding?" She moved forward now, close enough to touch him.

"That's all human stuff. I try not to think about it. And I'm 1153."

"So it's different for Time Lords?"

"Different? What's different?"

"As in, is there anything I need to know about your… you? Does everything work the same way?"

"Well, I do have two hearts…" This time a smirk at his own cleverness. He was more confident now. River moved in to him as he spoke and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"I guess if you're going be coy, Doctor, I will just have to find out first hand." The Doctor wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.

"No, no. I really do have two hearts. I wasn't teasing about that. Strictly speaking, I have a binary coronary system that greatly surpasses…"

She interrupted his babbling with a kiss full on the mouth. His initial shock was short-lived, and soon he met her kiss with a passionate one of his own. He slowed, though, desperately trying to keep control of himself. _Not here._ He broke off the kiss, gently.

"Come with me." He broke from her embrace and took her hand, leading her into the TARDIS.

"Oooooh. Where are we going, Doctor?" Even the way she said his name was suggestive.

"Spoilers!" He literally ran to the controls, pulling her along with him. As he flipped switches and spun dials, he couldn't help but grin boyishly at her. The TARDIS shook and vibrated, humming happily as the Doctor punched in coordinates. River tried to look over his shoulder, but he moved the screen away from her.

"Ah, ah, ah! NO peeking!" He pushed a button. "Hold on to something…" another lever, and then, "Geronimo!" he grabbed the console as the TARDIS took off. River stood behind him and wrapped her arms around his middle, holding on tight as the TARDIS rocked crazily toward their destination. Because the Doctor had to support both of them, his knuckles were white from his effort to hold onto the console. But he wasn't going to complain.

"You DID tell me to hold onto something!" River yelled over the roar of the TARDIS. The Doctor gripped harder. Teasingly, she let one hand wander down the front of his body. Surprised, the Doctor lost his hold and they were slung across the platform of the TARDIS, landing together in a heap on the floor. Trying to catch her, the Doctor came down hard on his elbow. Laughing and breathless, they stayed there until the TARDIS ground to a halt a few seconds later.

"Surely this isn't the way this thing is meant to fly," said River, with not a little sarcasm.

"SHE'S not a thing! And SHE flies just fine!" he pouted.

"Should I be jealous, Doctor?" Softly.

"Only married two days and you are already questioning my loyalty? Let's go." He tapped her nose affectionately, then rose up halfway and planted a quick kiss on her lips.

"Trying to change the subject, hmmm? But why can't we just stay here, my love? Doesn't the TARDIS have rooms?"

"I had other places in mind…" Sitting up and rubbing his bruised elbow, he took her hand, and they rose together.

"Afraid SHE'LL see?"

"No," he said quickly. "I just planned our first night together in a different place."

"I thought you didn't like to think about it?"

"Rule number one: the Doctor lies." This time he kissed her properly. Eagerly. Leaning against her until she almost fell over, his arms caught her and he pressed his full body against hers, sliding his tongue into her mouth. He wasn't afraid to show her how much he needed her now.


	2. Chapter 2

Stepping out of the TARDIS, they were bathed in the soft glow of another setting sun, yet this one was not stormy but bathing the travellers in a more tranquil glow. Out of the corner of her eye, River caught the Doctor stealing another glance at her hair. She shook her head slightly, letting the light of the setting sun bounce off her golden curls. The Doctor seemed to appreciate it, because he smiled and took her hand as they watched the sun change from yellow to deep golden shades of orange.

Did he know she was showing off for him? Or was he that naive? So much to discover about him, although he seemed to know all about her. She _felt_ as if she knew all about him, from Amy Pond, her own research, and even from Madame Kovarian. But this was only the second time in her life she had actually met him, and here she was, married to him. She didn't know all his facial expressions or his moods or his whims - all the things a woman typically knows about a man when she marries him. What an absurd thing, to marry someone she had fallen in love with through stories she had read or heard. Until recently, The Doctor was only a thought in her mind. No, a fantasy. A fantastic, dangerous hero that had been a part of dreams both waking and sleeping. And here was this fantasy, standing next to her, watching a sun go down on this strange planet.

However naive he may have been about her, _he _was certainly showing off by bringing her to this sunset. His timing was clearly not an accident. It was the most spectacular twilight she had ever seen. The stars here were already completely out in the darkening sky - big stars that were closer than the stars of Earth. They looked like dozens of sparkling diamonds hovering just above the atmosphere. She did not see a moon, but the stars lit the night sky in a way that promised to keep away night terrors, like a million nightlights thrown up in the air to calm small children.

"Where and when are we?"

"It's a new planet."

"Newly discovered, you mean?"

"No, it hasn't been discovered yet. Except by us, which I suppose technically means it HAS BEEN discovered. But only to us time-travellers. I mean it is newly formed. A YOUNG planet, if that helps."

"Which planet is it? Maybe I know it in the future… it's future, I mean, my past."

"Oh, you know it." He gestured in a wide sweeping motion, as if he were presenting it to her. "It's Earth."

She stood dumb struck. Then, "You brought me to _Earth_? The beginning of Earth?"

"Well, it's not actually the beginning of it. It started out as a formless lump of rock and molecules, and has now formed into a round lump of rock and molecules. But it is definitely Earth now. Recognizable… sort of. It has water - H...two….O - and a few primitive plants," he said smugly. "AND a spectacular view. The atmosphere is free from pollution, and the Milky Way looks much different now."

"I…. don't know what to say." Tears came to her eyes. For a woman who rarely cried, she had done quite a lot of it the last few days.

"Do you not know what to say because you are pleased, or because you are angry with me? Have I said something wrong?"

"No, my love, you haven't said anything wrong. This is…. beautiful. I never would have imagined it to be this… moving. If only it would stay this way."

He smiled, and took her hand again, walking a little distance from the TARDIS, their feet quiet in the soft grass around their feet. She must be trapped in that fantasy still. It was exciting, this beginning, but it felt too good to be true.

"It does for some time, you know… stay this way," he smiled encouragingly. "And like all things, it will change, and something new and wonderful will happen, and different peoples and races will live here, and create fantastic and wonderful new things, and eventually those new things will contribute to the universe as a whole, benefitting all."

"Ah, but I'm an archaeologist, sweetie, and I know that not all their contributions will benefit the universe. And among all that living will be an awful lot of dying, as well."

"Well… yes, if you want to think about it that way. I suppose all great civilizations have that problem, including mine." He looked pensive for a moment, then seemed to remember why they were here. "I have a surprise for you."

"This wasn't the surprise?"

"Ah… it was the _beginning_ of the surprise. And I can take you all sorts of amazing places, but we need to walk a little farther - to the top of that hill."

"This would have been enough."

"That's because you haven't seen the surprise yet."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The stars lit their way as they walked to the top of a small rise. A silver breeze rustled the tall grass on the hill, the only noise in this quiet place. That last kiss on the TARDIS had surprised River. The Doctor was awkward at times, but he had been so sure and confident then, with no traces of hesitation. He was full of need and love and tenderness, and her lips still tingled with the passion and excitement. She had momentarily forgotten it when she saw the sunset, but now she was yearning to find out what he had planned.

As they reached the top of the hill, River looked down to a gently flowing silver river that meandered through the hills. The sound of flowing water that reached her ears was a welcome relief to the quiet surrounding them. On the level near the river, a white pavilion-like tent stood out against the silver grass. Its walls of fabric fluttered gently in the breeze, and the opening let out a sliver of warm yellow light.

"Feeling a bit primitive, sweetie?"

"I found it on the TARDIS. Have you ever been camping? Camping is cool." He was already pulling her down the hill without waiting for an answer.

Like many things from ancient Gallifrey, the pavilion was bigger on the inside. As he pulled her through the tent flap, River glimpsed sumptuous furnishings and rich tapestries directly inside before he pulled her through another flap into a bigger apartment.

"This is cozy," she smiled. The huge vaulted ceiling was transparent to allow a perfect view of the stars. Candles on a table lit the immediate vicinity, and a large plush bed took up one corner of the room. A fire burned in the fireplace opposite the bed, casting welcome warmth into the room.

"River Song." When he said her name it sounded as if he were saying something more. Something deeper. His eyes communicated more than his words ever would, River suspected. She couldn't stand the tension anymore.

"Will you tell me your name?" The Doctor didn't reply. "When we were standing there with Rory and Amy, you said aloud that you had just told me your name, but you really told me to look into your eye."

"I will tell you anything you want to know, with a few exceptions." 

"Is this an exception?"

He hesitated for a moment. "No," he said finally, and he smiled.


	4. Chapter 4

**Rating going up to be safe! Rated M for Mature.**

After telling River his name, The Doctor felt as if a great weight had been lifted from him, but it was only replaced by a new burden - the burden that his time with her would now be brief. She still had much time ahead of her - time spent with him. But he was unsure of how much time _he_ had remaining with _her_. The memory of her in a library came up unbidden to his thoughts, of her telling him not to rewrite "those times, don't you dare." Was it all of the times he had lived with her already? Or were there more? He knew she had some time to spend in prison. He could go back and visit her every night she was there, if it meant spending more time with her. Yes, he could always go back to her there. In prison she would be safe. But the burden did not leave him.

"Anything wrong, my love?" River had changed her clothes at some point while he was contemplating their future. How had he missed that? She was now wearing a soft, flowing gown made of satin and lace, one he had laid out, hoping she would wear.

"Absolutely nothing is wrong. You are beautiful." He shook off the memories and smiled his best smile.

"Maybe I can help you forget a few of your troubles."

"I have quite of lot of troubles that need forgetting, actually, but none that we need to discuss right now."

"Who said anything about _discussing_ them? There are other ways to forget your troubles, sweetie," she said deviously.

"What kinds of ways, Mrs. Doctor? ...Mrs. Doctor, Mrs. Doctor," he said, rolling it around on his tongue. River frowned. "Mrs. Doctor… I don't like that. Forget I said that. We won't ever say that again."

"I should hope not."

"Anyway, where were we? You were saying something about my troubles…" he leaned in and kissed her softly. Then again.

"I said," she murmured between kisses, "that you are going to have the time of your life, Doctor."

"Well, that's a pretty spectacular claim, considering I've had a very long life, and some amazing times."

"None this good, trust me."

The Doctor smirked, "River Song."

They kissed longer this time. He touched her lower lip with his thumb and drew it down so he could slide his tongue into her mouth. She met his passion with her own. He let his hands wander up to her hair where he buried them in her soft curls, kissing her harder now, with raw need, and River responded by pressing her body more fully against his.

Then he was lost. He had spent years flirting with her and marveling at her, and tonight, if only for a night, he was going to just _be_ with her. The intimacy he usually avoided he gave freely. And soon he was pulling her nightgown over her head and letting his hands wander her bare skin, and she was undoing his braces and his belt. They managed to make it to the bed before she could unbutton his shirt, so he finished off the buttons while she undid his trousers.

The Doctor had craved her touch, and now that he had it, every touch seemed to burn him, exciting him. And he wanted more of her. Her scent, her skin, her hands, her hair, and her eyes. He wanted to touch all of River at once.

Their passion only became more intense once he entered her. He clung to a shred of control as she moved beneath him. When she rolled out from under him, pinning him under her, he forgot himself completely. River had not lied; she was intoxicating.

The Doctor sat up and kissed River deeply as she moved against him. His hands held her close as she created an intense rhythm for them, unstoppable now as they both moved toward climax. She reached hers first, and just seeing River reach her peak tipped him over the edge himself. They held each other as their bodies calmed, separating only to nestle in close to one another, wrapped in each other's arms.

"How do you feel, River Song?"

"That I will never have enough of you, no matter how long or short our time together. Please tell me you feel the same," she whispered that last bit.

The Doctor reached down and took her hand, kissing her fingers gently. "I do."

"What comes next? I'm in prison."

"I will always come for you, River. MY River. And we need to talk about the future, but not tonight. Not tonight, River Song." He had wanted to say more than her name then, but habit would not let him, so he put every bit of love that he felt for her into her name. She kissed him like she knew what he was thinking, however, and they were caught up again in their love for each other.


	5. Chapter 5

"River. River!" He whispered her name excitedly. "Wake up!"

"Mhmpf. Just a little longer, sweetie. We had a big night last night." She was warm and comfortable snuggled up to his chest, but the Doctor was insistent.

"River! Look!" She opened her eyes for a peek. The transparent ceiling of their tent was allowing the crystal clear light of dawn to shine into the room. Among the fading stars were hundreds of pin-pricks of light streaking across the sky. A meteor shower. River smiled and snuggled in closer.

"Did you plan this?"

"Just for you," he smiled.

"Liar. But I love it anyway."

"Now aren't you glad I woke you up? What if you had missed this?"

"You have a time machine, sweetie, we could go back and watch it again."

"That would bring us back across our own timelines, and that is always a Very Bad Idea." He tapped her nose three times as he said it.

"Will we sprout two heads?"

"Many things can happen, the most dramatic being that we create a paradox in which the whole universe collapses."

"So nothing serious, then," she laughed.

He kissed her. "Good morning, by the way. I am hungry. Let's eat!"

"That sounds lovely. What did you bring?"

"Bring? Nothing, I thought we'd go out for breakfast."

"Out where?"

"Anywhere you like! All of time and space!" As he hopped out of bed and began looking for his clothes, River realized she would never have a day off around the Doctor.

"I guess I will just rest when you take me back to prison."

A pang of guilt crossed his face, and he stopped gathering his clothes.

"Yes, when you go back… Listen, River… have you been keeping up your diary?"

"Yes, why?"

"Well, once I take you back, I don't know what will happen before I see you again. You must always write about our adventures together, including last night." He smiled and almost blushed. "You were wonderful."

"Thank you, sweetie. So were you. I am the luckiest woman in the universe."

"Really? That good? There's more where that came from, if you're interested."

"Oh, I'll always be interested, my love. What do I need to know about the diary?"

"I'm keeping one, too. And I can't explain everything, but there will be times when we meet each other, and our timelines will be out of sync. Times when I won't know we are married, River." He hesitated. "You need to prepare yourself for a time when you see me, but I may not know you for who you really are… and neither will Amy or Rory." He let that statement linger a moment. "And listen, River, this is _very, very_ important… You must never reveal to us who you are – not before the time is right. Sometimes we will meet and I'll know you more than other times. That's what the diaries are for."

"So we can sync up? But I don't understand, exactly." He walked over to her on the bed.

"Yes, this is very _important_, River." He tenderly held her face between his hands. "We are time travelers, you and I. Terrible things can happen when our own futures are revealed. Will you do this for me?"

"Whatever you need from me, I'll do, sweetie. I love you."

"Even when I ask. You _must_ _not_ tell me." He searched her eyes.

"I won't, my love. You have my word. But if knowledge of your future is dangerous, why would you ask?"

He smiled crookedly before he lowered his voice to say, "Because I cannot resist you, River Song. You are intoxicating to me." He kissed her to prove that he meant it.

When he pulled away she smiled, and oh help him, it was all he could do to not push her back onto the bed and make love to her once again.

"But now you have raised more questions," she said. "Will you come get me in prison?"

"As often as I can."

"When will I see you again?"

"As soon as possible. But don't think I'm taking you back just yet. This is our honeymoon!" With that, he resumed looking for his clothes.

"You should get dressed," he said as he was pulling on his trousers, "…or not. I could look at your body all day. But you might get a bit chilly, depending on where we go."

"I think I'll get dressed. Don't want to start a riot," she winked at him.

"Good thinking. NO riots on our honeymoon. As much fun as it is to see you walk around without clothes…" he trailed off as he watched her gather her own clothes.

"I might create some stir in these prison clothes, too. Just of a different sort."

"You can change into something else on the TARDIS."

"Well, in that case, I don't really need to wear these right now…" She walked out of the tent naked, carrying her clothes, with the Doctor grabbing his last article of clothing – his bow tie – and hurrying after her.


	6. Chapter 6

As the Doctor dropped her off at prison at the end of their very long honeymoon, he said goodbye by kissing her and telling her he would see her soon. He looked into her eyes then memorized the way her golden curls fell around her face. They were back on the same night he had whisked her away. No one would have missed her. The moonlight was still streaming in through the barred windows, reminding him of her prison. A prison she was in because of him.

Letting go of her was hard, though he worked hard not to show it. He planned to visit her there as often as he could. It might mean one or two nights for her, if he could time it correctly, but it may be years between visits for him. The Doctor felt more keenly now that his time with River was precious. He was almost glad she wasn't traveling with him all the time, so that he could spread out her few years against his long ones. He could keep her longer, this way.

As he walked back into the TARDIS, it felt empty without her and the Ponds, who thought he was dead. The TARDIS was empty, and he was alone.


End file.
